Recollections
by LookIt'saProngs
Summary: Remus attemps to piece together what he and Sirius just did.


**Title:** Recollections  
**Author:** lj userlookitsaprongs  
**Pairing:** Remus/Sirius  
**Rating: **Slightly R for non-explicit sex memories  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine, and sadly never will be. If is was, Remus and Sirius would have sex. Hot, ass-thumping sex. ::laughs madly until realizes no one watches _Strangers with Candy _but her::  
**Summary:** Remus, confused, tries to put together what just happened.  
**Author's Notes: **Written because I couldn't get the image of a bare-chested Remus smoking in front of an open window out of my head, the rain splattering his torso. Mmm...

Remus settled his body against the open window and took a drag from the fag he was holding between his fingers. Sirius' fag. He exhaled the smoke and let his gaze drift to the falling rain, enjoying the sounds of water droplets hitting pavement and the mist wetting his face in a gentle sort of way. Remus wrinkled his brow as he attempted, perhaps somewhat foolishly, to decipher the events of the previous evening.

Remus could remember the party Sirius had thrown, a graduation party for the lads. They had all been ecstatic at the prospect of finishing school, as well as a little bit nervous in the face of what the future might bring. The alcohol helped with the nerves, which left the ecstasy bit of graduating to romp unrestrained throughout Sirius' flat, naked and merciless. Very naked, in fact. Remus shuddered inwardly at the memory of Peter's . . . dance. How horrid and scarring it was.

Remus then recalled how Peter and James had eventually announced their departure by stumbling out the door, clutching each other (most likely too shit-faced to remember how to walk properly) and screeching out a dreadful rendition of "God Save the Queen and Her Floral Knickers" (Sirius had added the last bit third year, as Remus recalled). With Sirius passed out on the sofa, this left Remus to do all the cleaning, being the (mostly) sober and good-hearted friend he is.

Sirius had awoken not long after Remus was done tidying up the apartment. Remus couldn't remember much of what happened next. He recalled something that had to do with caterpillars, for some reason. Sirius was still pretty drunk. The thing that Remus did remember quite vividly was when Sirius had kissed him. It had been slobbery and sloppy and had tasted overpoweringly like at least six different liquors, and it had rendered Remus at loss for what to say. Sirius was quiet for a moment too, looking intensely into Remus' eyes, before moving in for another kiss.

Remus knew that he should have stopped it. Remus knew very well that he should have shoved Sirius off and whacked him in the nose with a newspaper. Remus knew perfectly well that he should have stopped all of it the moment it happened, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It wasn't that Remus didn't want to hurt Sirius or anything, though he didn't, but Remus didn't stop it because _he didn't want to._ He became horribly aware of that fact after about ten minutes of this kissing Sirius business without one even attempted intervention by Remus. The fact of the matter was that _Remus wanted this._

_ But he's drunk. I shouldn't be doing this to him while he's drunk. _Remus continued to tell himself this but it never seemed to reach the surface. It definitely didn't reflect in his actions.

Remus could remember how it had felt when Sirius roughly shoved him into the bedroom, kissing him hard. He remembered being pushed onto the bed. He remembered how _good_ it felt to have Sirius crawl over his groin and straddle his hips. How strange and wrong and so damn _good_.

Something that Remus found odd was that he doesn't actually remember having sex with Sirius. Because they definitely did shag, without a doubt (Remus has the bite marks and sore arse to prove it). He just cannot piece everything together as a whole. He can vividly recall certain sounds, touches and temperatures, random moments during the act, but that's pretty much it. It happened, then it was over.

He can remember what it was like afterwards. How Sirius had tumbled less-than-gracefully onto his back and covered himself with his raggy sheets in a somewhat girlish manner.

"You don't actually have breasts, you remember," Remus had said. He stared at Sirius from his own side of the bed.

"Not now, obviously, but after what just happened I just might grow a pair. Your hormones can go all wonky after shagging another man, you know." He scoffed at his own joke before looking into Remus' meaningful eyes. Remus' intentions were not lost, even on Sirius. "We'll talk in the morning, yeah?" He cleared his throat and shifted his gaze to his chest, looking awkward. He decided upon turning to his side so he could face the wall.

He fell asleep relatively quickly, the aftermaths of the booze and sex making his eyelids heavy. Remus just stared at Sirius' (quite lovely) naked back until he was snoring contently. This was when Remus actually felt safe enough to go out to the window for a cigarette, when he knew Sirius wouldn't wake for a heard of elephants stopping through the flat.

Remus shuddered for a moment, the chill either caused by the rain or the memories, he didn't know which. He lit up another cigarette, breathing in the poison like it was a lifeline.

_ Yeah…we'll talk in the morning._

TBC (possibly)


End file.
